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I Turned Into A River

from I Turned Into A River by Bijou Noir

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about

It’s February and sunny and there’s palm trees knocking gently against the window, blown by the invisible wind. I’m thinking of someone who’s no longer in my life.

The fact that I miss our friendship astounds me, after what he did. I’m grateful for much of our friendship, and ashamed that I didn’t understand his nature more fully. I shouldn’t have stood by and allowed myself to be complicit in the behavior towards others. I should have seen it coming before that rage turned against me.

I’ll never let someone in my life who treats me the way that person did. I still miss him. And I don’t know what’s worse.

lyrics

I turned into a river
And cut right through the hill
That I was prepared
To die on

I muddied your good ground
Right beneath your feet
I was not formed
For you to rely on

You don’t get to drag me down with you
You don’t get to put me through
Everything you think you do
What to do escapes you but
That does not make you free
You’re a lot of things to me
Why make me your enemy?
Why make me your enemy?

You folded and reshuffled
Just to play the same damn game
You better gamble to win
When you deal the devil in

Cause you don’t make better odds
Just by pushing in more chips
And ignoring your debts
Ain’t gonna settle them, no

You don’t get to drag me down with you
You don’t get to put me through
Everything you think you do
What to do escapes you but
That does not make you free
You’re a lot of things to me
Don’t make me your enemy
Don’t make me your enemy

Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?
Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?
Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?

And when my stillness shattered
I would no longer reflect
Your terrible beauty
And flickering pain

So when we parted ways
It was like Moses parting water
And then you cried for relief
And waited for rain

You can’t float your troubles down my back
I won’t wash away your shame
Or carry to you what you lack
You can’t float your troubles down my back
I won’t wash away your shame
Or carry to you what you lack
Or carry to you what you lack

Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?
Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?
Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?
Don’t make me your enemy
Why make me your enemy?

credits

from I Turned Into A River, released June 11, 2021
Lyrics, vocals, music, electric ukulele by Augustus Watkins
Mixed by Garrett Neal
Mastered by Oli Morgan at Abbey Road Studios
Photo by Cait Greeley
Artwork by J. Lexvold

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Bijou Noir image

Bijou Noir Los Angeles, California

Alt-pop singer-songwriter.

Moody electro productions, big choruses.

Bijou Noir is a genre-defying mix of intelligent pop, post-punk, new wave, electronic, and indie rock, with a strong lyrical center. ... more

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